JRS-BLOG: Live the life you want.

Girls in your life may secretly want to sleep with you right now but without the right awareness, you’re fucked!

I remember I didn’t have it one night at a party last year….my friend and I pulled two girls to his car to go to a club. Solid. So he’s sexually dancing with his girl and my girl is just begging to be kissed. I don’t kiss her. It gets awkward when we leave the club cause I wasn’t being too sexual with her on the dance floor….she asks to be taken home.

So even though she liked me….she knew I wasn’t THAT GUY after the club. Sure, flirting and touching her belly, arms, shoulder is enough for a house party….but the environment of the club meant amp it up! She can like you tons but if you aren’t sexual, you aren’t getting laid.

I had another girl be so into me, constantly coming up to me or ‘bumping into me’ in the halls….touching me….calling me cute….so eventually I manned up and invited her to my room. It was pretty simple because I had learned from “PUA” shit that touching a girl is something you should do. I am glad that’s all I took away from the PUA garbage. So now that I touched her in our conversations, the interaction was sexualized. This is key because now when I invite her to my room she knows it isn’t to cook, study, ect. She’s expecting to at least makeout if not have sex.

Awareness: If you don’t lead or be sexual when she’s over….you won’t see her again….and she will lose all attraction for you. Seriously. Yes, this is the most important part of this post.

Lets examine why though….

She meets this guy and thinks oh he’s cute…lets see what he’s about…’hi im stacey’ you talk a bit laugh get along well and she sees more of you. Somehow (without tdd of course) by sure luck you’ve touched her, held eye contact, and nonverbally shown SOME sexuality lingering there for her. So you invite her over. She comes over thinking ‘yes! this cute guy is going to have such a hot bod, i wonder how big his dick is, he’s so fun and sexy too! i wonder if he’s a good kisser, he looks like one. wow im so excited HE IS SO AWESOME!”

And then….you do nothing. This shatters everything from before. Her idea of who you are as a person. How she sees you. Her finding you sexy…gone. Anything of you being sexual in the past is gone. She is no longer turned on by you because when it COUNTED you did nothing. She thought this guy is amazing…and now that’s shattered and shes heartbroken. Or maybe she thinks you don’t even see her that way, “ugh I am so stupid!” she thinks, “he didn’t even want me!”

Now I am going to teach you how to use awareness to get the girls you want (and who want you too).

1. Gain mutual agreement. Common-connects are key. This lets you guys connect on stuff you have in common! X=X

2. Show her you’re fun around others and not just her alone.

3. Be sexual. SO SUPER IMPORTANT. Without this even if she likes you she will hesitate to go out with you. She’ll wonder about what your intentions are (that’s why being sexual is key! it’s being honest!), why you even want to go out, or what will happen on the date. Be sexual and let her fantasize of how you might kiss her or how the sex will be great.

4. Be congruent. Refer to the archetype post, the one before this. You must have a congruent character with congruent interests, personality traits, and overall style. Stick to it and don’t buy into trends to change it because when you do you become incongruent, tryhard, and the girls who liked you before will think of you as a fake. It’ll be like their great guy shattered before their eyes…and they’ll move on. So if you are sexual to her in your interaction…when she’s over….FOLLOW THROUGH WITH THAT! Stay congruent. This is why a guy can’t just tell his ‘friend’ “I like you” and expect her to treat him differently….that’s still kinda friendly….it isn’t sexual at all so she might say Aw, thats cute but she won’t be having sex with him….because his character to her is ‘friendly’ guy not sexual.

You may have heard Troy say that TDD is based on STRONG MALE ARCHETYPES which is basically saying what I was told on PI “Look at people you admire, learn from them, take what you like from them.” I didn’t understand it at the time but this is key. You gotta have successful people who are JUST LIKE YOU (or what you want to become) to look up to so that slowly and slowly you start becoming successful like that person. It might sound like copying but it is more so developing yourself into the character you want to be.

Kasper asks TroyDizonDating:

“Hi guys, Ive been neglecting my apperance in terms of projecting a identity. I want to experiment and find a style that suites me best. Im tall (6′ 3″) white, and a bit of a intellectual, nerd is a easy word for it. I dont know if this helps but Ill toss in some other things that I do. I play drums, Im musical, and IO love feeling the energy of music. I like art, and I draw(I dont like painting) I like a mad maxish/ desert wanderer type of get up, but I want something thats practical, not out there for the sake of being out there (aka peacocking pua style) I also like a semi grunge/ rockstar look, I havent really seen how far I can go with this, but I like a understated punk look. again nothing too over the top.”

Just from these words alone over 30 different styles, archetypes, and styles came to mind. Scene style (there were so many possibilities with this one) with focus on the hair, tight jeans, cool choppy bangs, graphic tshirts, band shirts, ect. It is a rocker style that is not too far out there but punk enough to be accepted by maintstream society or lets say to get into an A-list club in New York City.

So if any of you guys reading this can relate to what this guy wants in his look/style/identity then here are my suggestions. All come from guys who are successful with women, their career, and live the 24/7 attractive lifestyle.

1) Scene style.

2) Artsy/Classy/Nerdy

3) Classy Rocker Dude – My own personal style, vests are in and if you have the attitude/look to rock one do it. I always get checked out when I am in black skinny jeans, a grey and black striped shirt, and a black vest. It’s just this young-rocker-coolmotherfucker vibe it gives off…it’s like Yeah I am bad…but I have class.

If you’re tall  and real skinny, you could pull off a slim look but avoid overly tight things cause it’ll make you lanky.

If you’re some artsy musician then you probably will like choppy haircuts with layers over your typical spiked up prep style or short cuts.

You don’t want to stand out really, you should take one piece that makes you stand out keep the rest quiet (dsquared taught me that little gem). The POINT of archetype game is not to stand out but to be the best looking guy FOR the type of look you are trying to pull off. Oh yeah and be 100% comfortable rocking it or else you’re more lame than those guys who derive all of their self esteem off the name Ed Hardy printed on their tshirts.

I’ve kept a consistent character for the past 3 years and it’s brought me success with the type of girls I am into. As my taste in style, interests, and career ambitions changed so did my taste in girls…and I updated my character and identity according to that. Back in highschool I was ‘the scene rocker guy who went to shows’, and as a result I became popular in the music scene. I dated girls from that scene who had a punk/scene style themselves. Then I started college and kept the hair but started wearing more comfortable stuff and throwing on a polo 5 minutes before class. My attitude and interests changed – the people i was around changed – and i updated all of that according to what I wanted. This is how identity works, x=x…become what you want and it comes to you without any effort.

PUA’s fail because they don’t own their character, their niche, ect. I am not saying if you are preppy you can’t date a punk girl or if you dress in Sean John that you can’t attract a ballerina-gymnist who loves Nietzsche and Heidegger but if you’re trying to get with everyone it shows your lack of confidence, a lack of sense of self, you don’t know who you are, you are trying to please EVERYONE and that is not attractive.

X=X. You are what you attract (and vice versa). You attract what you project.

Back when I was into the music scene (i mean really into it), I had started off in highschool and went to local venues to look for ads of bands seeking a vocalist. Found one, hung out with them – started to write music – played some shows. People at school started to treat me – look at me – and act different, particularly women. Before the band I was normal guy with no real character. I was bland. Suddenly girls who had friendly talks with me were telling me how much they love the type of music I like, how they want to check out cd’s with me, and calling my style hot. This happened because of my character. It was almost overnight. I had guys trying to diss me for the style because they were generic….but that’s jealousy and if you got the girls then just find like minded dudes to chill with and it’s all good.

I am not going to lie – put a lot of effort into emulating the TOP TIER of that look or identity or you will fail. There’s thousands of posers who don’t know what they are doing and mix and match the wrong things or use low quality crap because they can’t afford to pull off the real look. Never substitute more ‘materials’ clothing or accessories for QUALITY. Quality will make you stand out from every other person who tries to be the same character as you.

Now that I am in college my look is still relaxed but a lot of the old band tshirt – real tight jeans – really long hair has outgrown me. I still have cool hair but its not as long, it’s medium length. It still has layers like before but it’s more classy and upscale than rocker and outlandish. My jeans are still SLIM while not being overly tight (how members of the music scene have theirs). I rock classier clothes like vests, dress shirts with jeans, blazers, vest/shirt/tie combo (with my rocker jeans), and I wear classic addidas that are simple but classy. So now the girls I attract are exactly the one’s I want. Good bye rocker, lots of makeup, hottie punk girls – hello college educated blonde-but-with brains and a body girl who likes to party with her friends but has direction in her life, goes to formal events more than clubs, and dresses classy (+ has that classy woman personality to match). They like me because I am the same way, career oriented – but I like to have fun – school comes first before her or fun though. And she probably feels the same way. And this x=x works because we can motivate each other with college when exams get tough and can actually have fun together because we like similar people, events, things. I remember this one college hottie I had dated….I didn’t realize it then but I KNEW LIKE 10 OF HER FRIENDS! We weren’t great friends but I knew them pretty decently enough and liked them. This definitely helped cause they liked me too.

OWN whatever you wear whatever you do and you’ll be fly. This is archetype game.

This is my first real blog since my PI with Andy. I didn’t really get what was going on back then but now I understand that every interaction should be:

1. FUN 2. SEXUAL. AND 3. USE FORESHADOWING TO SET UP A DATE.

Lets break this down- Is talking about your college studies sexy? Or Politics? I say start small like what you did over the weekend – she’ll probably connect with that…now you’re fun!
But you can only have things to talk about if you have a LIFESTYLE.

Next. I learned that if you ask a girl out…or foreshadow and the interaction isn’t sexual…you’re missing a key component.
Is she going out with you just for fun? No. She’s gotta be sexually attracted to you and at some point on a date kissing…holding…sex all could happen. That means that before a date she should see you as sexual. If she doesn’t then I think you are showing her how you would even act on a date. So if you want to be sexual on a date…start it off before you ask her out.

I learned that this comes from nonverbals (staring at her eyes/lips, biting your bottom lip slowwwly, touching her), eye contact, and if you can directing something to sex in the conversation. As Troy taught me, this is not something to get hung up on and it is not a big deal. It’s merely a part of who you are and ONE part of TDD.

Next foreshadowing…I think this is the difference between the typical needy “we should…go out together or you should come to my party” and talking about your life and describing it and then inviting her along. PUA guy’s SAY that but they don’t do it. I think foreshadowing works because we talk about what we like to do – and it shows – and she goes ‘hmm he thinks its fun, he actually does. he’s cute…and i’d have fun…ok!” instead of making a huge deal of the two of you going out sometime.

Next.

TDD is a synergy of lifestyle AND what Troy teaches. When I am in bands, girls just come to me with no effort, sure you meet them as friends but if you’re making it sexual and inviting them into your life…then it’s smooth sailing. Having a lifestyle ensures that you don’t have to be mister PUA idiot approaching 3 nights a week. If the club scene is your thing, own it but I rather hang in a bar with my friends than do that often. If you work in a hip place – you’ll meet girls instantly. Lifestyle.

Live the life you like and it just happens..

Looking for her interest is pointless…if you don’t lead anyway NOTHING WILL HAPPEN. You are the man, you lead everything. You start talking to her, you lead sexually, you lead on highpoints and if shes into it she follows you. That’s the only indicator you’ll ever need. She follows you, you keep changing things up.
Next. Credibility/Believability. Going to college and acting like you are a constant party dude frat guy is so try hard. Trust me. Be the smart guy who can party when class is out, it’s the duality of both that makes you sexy. You aren’t the extreme of either which is bad. And a girl with a stable personality can relate to both. Talk about partying and how ull never mix 2 drinks and then talk about how that biology exam is going to crush you if you don’t lock yourself in the library all week studying.

Part 2 of this is going for what you want without asking anyone if it’s the right choice. If you made it ITS THE RIGHT CHOICE. BELIEVE IT. That shirt you like? Buy it, you’ll be confident wearing it. You like tight rock n republic jeans even though your friends call them ‘emo’? Wear them and women will think you’re hot in them. “Hype just happens because of a single person’s hardcore belief in it!” – Troy D. Believe in everything you do and you’ll be the 24/7 guy. If you’re looking to TDD to tell you how to live your lifestyle, you won’t be confident. Find the crowd(s) you like and merge yourself in with them. Find hobbies YOU like. X=X at the end of the day, what you do will attract people into the same stuff!

Don’t overthink any of this….it’s when you TRY to implement this stuff that you’ll fail. Cause the girl goes ‘what is TRYING to do, this isn’t him’, so learn what builds an attractive guy and become him…but if you’re new to this don’t suddenly try to immediately start talking sexually, most likely it will sound forced. Just let it happen and when the right moment comes to foreshadow, use sexual nonverbals, or lead you’ll get a gut feeling. Trust it.

- Jrs7